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City Of Paper Will Burn
16 minutes ago
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
WHO KNEW?
There is another blog named Alright, Alright, Alright on Blogger.
Turns out it's pretty good, too.
It's permanent over to the right in the blogroll.
Sorry about the confusion, Dave.
*UPDATE!*
DOH! Just realized he hasn't updated the blog in about a year! Nevermind.
Turns out it's pretty good, too.
It's permanent over to the right in the blogroll.
Sorry about the confusion, Dave.
*UPDATE!*
DOH! Just realized he hasn't updated the blog in about a year! Nevermind.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Apple Knows Who Stole Your iPod
""Apple maintains records of stolen iPod serial numbers," the website reads. "Apple's iTunes software records the serial number of the last connected iPod. Apple sells songs to people that enter their billing information into the iTunes software. So why isn't Apple doing anything to prevent the sale of songs to the person with YOUR stolen iPod?"
A recent graduate of Suffolk University Law School in Boston, Ferry started the site in May after losing an iPod. He'd been traveling from Detroit to Boston when an iPod he'd borrowed was stolen from his laptop-computer bag. Ferry had also called Apple and been disappointed. "I guess I assumed Apple would help," he said."
Thursday, January 1, 2009
HARPER'S YEARLY REVIEW
January 1, 2009
The United States marked the five-year anniversary of the
war in Iraq. Over four million Iraqis had fled the country
or been internally displaced, and the total cost of the
war, currently about $650 billion, was expected to rise to
$2 trillion over the next five years. Oil rose above $147
a barrel, and Abu Dhabi bought New York City's Chrysler
Building for $800 million. Somali pirates stole a Saudi
supertanker. President George W. Bush announced that North
Korea was no longer a state sponsor of terrorism. The CIA
expanded its covert operations in Iran. Bozo the Clown
died, as did Jesse Helms, William F. Buckley Jr., Paul
Newman, Heath Ledger, Indonesian dictator Suharto,
comedian George Carlin, didgeridoo master Alan Dargin,
and, at age 110, Louis de Cazenave of the Fifth Senegalese
Rifles, one of the last two living French veterans of
World War I. "War," he once explained, "is something
absurd, useless, that nothing can justify." Ariel Sharon
was still alive, and Israel bombed Gaza in retaliation for
ongoing rocket attacks. Tom Jones insured his chest hair
for $7 million.
Australian police tasered a ram. France banned TV shows
for babies. Pope Benedict XVI toured the United States,
and the Vatican released a list of seven "social"
sins--including littering, genetic tampering, and creating
poverty--to complement the seven cardinal vices. The World
Health Organization announced that virtually untreatable
drug-resistant tuberculosis could now be found in 45
countries. Japanese men began to wear bras. The cost of
rice increased by 30 percent, and food riots broke out in
30 countries. The United Nations expected the number of
starving people in the world to rise to 950 million. North
Korean hunger scientists announced a new noodle. In an
expanding thousand-square-mile low-oxygen zone growing
along the coast of Oregon and Washington, every fish,
crab, and sea worm was dead. A 7.9-magnitude earthquake
centered in China's Sichuan Province left tens of
thousands of people dead and millions homeless. The Summer
Olympics were held in Beijing, heralded on television by
fake, computer-generated fireworks. Structures built for
the 2004 Athens Olympics were falling into ruin. A man in
Swansea, Wales, died from eating too much fairycake, and
an elderly German woman filed a lawsuit against a hospital
in Bavaria after she went in for a leg operation and was
instead given a new anus. Paddington Bear turned 50; both
the cubicle and the assassination of Martin Luther King
turned 40; Viagra turned 10. One in 100 American adults
was behind bars.
The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that detainees held as "enemy
combatants" by the United States at Guantanamo Bay have a
constitutional right to challenge their detention through
habeas corpus petitions in federal courts. Scientists
located the part of the brain responsible for
understanding sarcasm. Global stock markets lost $3.1
trillion in four days, and the Dow Jones Industrial
Average fell below 10,000 for the first time in five
years. The real estate boom in Dubai slowed. Nobel
Laureate V. S. Naipaul declared that there are "no more
great writers," and Bob Dylan won a Pulitzer Prize.
Illinois Senator Barack Obama was elected President of the
United States. Gunmen terrorized Mumbai, and inflation in
Zimbabwe reached 23 million percent. Iceland went
bankrupt. Zookeepers across the United States put their
animals on diets, feeding gorillas according to a Weight
Watchers point system and offering polar bears sugar-free
Jell-O. The thoughts of a monkey in North Carolina
controlled the actions of a robot in Japan. New York
researchers used carbon nanotubes to create the darkest
material known to man. Two teams of physicists, one in
Calgary and the other in Tokyo, successfully stored
nothing within a gas in the form of squeezed vacuum
composed of uncertainty.
The United States marked the five-year anniversary of the
war in Iraq. Over four million Iraqis had fled the country
or been internally displaced, and the total cost of the
war, currently about $650 billion, was expected to rise to
$2 trillion over the next five years. Oil rose above $147
a barrel, and Abu Dhabi bought New York City's Chrysler
Building for $800 million. Somali pirates stole a Saudi
supertanker. President George W. Bush announced that North
Korea was no longer a state sponsor of terrorism. The CIA
expanded its covert operations in Iran. Bozo the Clown
died, as did Jesse Helms, William F. Buckley Jr., Paul
Newman, Heath Ledger, Indonesian dictator Suharto,
comedian George Carlin, didgeridoo master Alan Dargin,
and, at age 110, Louis de Cazenave of the Fifth Senegalese
Rifles, one of the last two living French veterans of
World War I. "War," he once explained, "is something
absurd, useless, that nothing can justify." Ariel Sharon
was still alive, and Israel bombed Gaza in retaliation for
ongoing rocket attacks. Tom Jones insured his chest hair
for $7 million.
Australian police tasered a ram. France banned TV shows
for babies. Pope Benedict XVI toured the United States,
and the Vatican released a list of seven "social"
sins--including littering, genetic tampering, and creating
poverty--to complement the seven cardinal vices. The World
Health Organization announced that virtually untreatable
drug-resistant tuberculosis could now be found in 45
countries. Japanese men began to wear bras. The cost of
rice increased by 30 percent, and food riots broke out in
30 countries. The United Nations expected the number of
starving people in the world to rise to 950 million. North
Korean hunger scientists announced a new noodle. In an
expanding thousand-square-mile low-oxygen zone growing
along the coast of Oregon and Washington, every fish,
crab, and sea worm was dead. A 7.9-magnitude earthquake
centered in China's Sichuan Province left tens of
thousands of people dead and millions homeless. The Summer
Olympics were held in Beijing, heralded on television by
fake, computer-generated fireworks. Structures built for
the 2004 Athens Olympics were falling into ruin. A man in
Swansea, Wales, died from eating too much fairycake, and
an elderly German woman filed a lawsuit against a hospital
in Bavaria after she went in for a leg operation and was
instead given a new anus. Paddington Bear turned 50; both
the cubicle and the assassination of Martin Luther King
turned 40; Viagra turned 10. One in 100 American adults
was behind bars.
The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that detainees held as "enemy
combatants" by the United States at Guantanamo Bay have a
constitutional right to challenge their detention through
habeas corpus petitions in federal courts. Scientists
located the part of the brain responsible for
understanding sarcasm. Global stock markets lost $3.1
trillion in four days, and the Dow Jones Industrial
Average fell below 10,000 for the first time in five
years. The real estate boom in Dubai slowed. Nobel
Laureate V. S. Naipaul declared that there are "no more
great writers," and Bob Dylan won a Pulitzer Prize.
Illinois Senator Barack Obama was elected President of the
United States. Gunmen terrorized Mumbai, and inflation in
Zimbabwe reached 23 million percent. Iceland went
bankrupt. Zookeepers across the United States put their
animals on diets, feeding gorillas according to a Weight
Watchers point system and offering polar bears sugar-free
Jell-O. The thoughts of a monkey in North Carolina
controlled the actions of a robot in Japan. New York
researchers used carbon nanotubes to create the darkest
material known to man. Two teams of physicists, one in
Calgary and the other in Tokyo, successfully stored
nothing within a gas in the form of squeezed vacuum
composed of uncertainty.
Rachael Ray’s Deadly Dog Food
Food Buzz Rachael Ray published her recipe for “Isaboos Butternut Squash Mac and Cheddar” in Modern Dog magazine, without a warning that it's actually not for doggy consumption. See, it's completely toxic to dogs because it includes onions! Somewhat hilariously, she posted it alongside a memorial to “Boo” who died suddenly…without explanation…perhaps eating her favorite Mac & Cheddar squash dish?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Hoppin' John again this year? Me not think so!
I ate a mess of Hoppin' John on new years day last year (like the good boy my mama thinks I am) and I'm fairly convinced it cost me my life savings and possibly my house.
I more than fairly convinced it cost me my dignity.
I'm thinkin' that this year I'm going to forgo it and try something new. Yeah, sure I'll MAKE it so my wife and child will have some shred of hope to hang onto, God knows they can't count on me to provide health, wealth, and happiness.
This year I'm seriously thinking about replacing Hoppin' John with a Reuben.
Think about it.....meat, vegetables, cultural significance. Hell, there's got to be some culture out there that eats corned beef every new years day, right? Yeah, I know the culture that eats it on new years also eats it 137 other days of the year, but so what.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet this years Hoppin' John............(drum roll)...................
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
from best of craigslist
CAT FOUND!
I found this guy the other day on my back porch. I tried feeding him and it turns out that he is not very friendly because i think he may be scared. Not quite sure the breed but I am assuming he is part Siamese. I have him in a crate because he is not really house broken. If he is yours please reply.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
One-person invasion attempt
In August 1990 an unemployed French nuclear physicist named André Gardes attempted a singlehanded invasion of Sark, armed with a semi-automatic weapon. The night Gardes arrived he put up signs declaring his intention to take over the island the following day at noon. He was arrested by the island's volunteer Constable, while sitting on a bench, changing the gun's magazine and waiting for noon to arrive.
More on the Island of SARK
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
science jokes, the finest kind.
Q: What do you get when you mix iron, bromine, uranium, argon, and yttrium?
A: FeBrUArY
Q: Where does bad light go?
A: To a prism.
Power, Work, and Energy are walking along when suddenly someone walks up and kicks energy. All three fall down in agony.
"Hey!" yells energy, "I'm the one that got hit, not you guys! Why are you moaning?"
"Are you kidding?" Yells Power. "We just got kicked in the Joules!"
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control!
A: FeBrUArY
Q: Where does bad light go?
A: To a prism.
Power, Work, and Energy are walking along when suddenly someone walks up and kicks energy. All three fall down in agony.
"Hey!" yells energy, "I'm the one that got hit, not you guys! Why are you moaning?"
"Are you kidding?" Yells Power. "We just got kicked in the Joules!"
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
"They looked clinically dead on the encephalograph" The one thing they got right in this "report"
[I am as surprised and shocked as you will be to hear such a respected scientist as Dr Bob Beck telling us that garlic is highly toxic. Editor] The reason garlic is so toxic, the sulphone hydroxyl ion penetrates the blood brain barrier, just like DMSO, and is a specific poison for higher life forms and brain cells.
We discovered this much to our horror, when I was the world's largest manufacturer of ethical EEG biofeedback equipment. We'd have people come back from lunch that looked clinically dead on the encephalograph, which we used to calibrate their progress. "Well, what happened?" " Well, I went to an Italian restaurant and there was some garlic in my salad dressing!".
Unwholesome consequences and reactions when consuming these plants:
Repellent breath, offensive body odour and from bowels when discharged; Can stimulate lustful gratifications when eaten cooked.
Repellent breath, offensive body odour and from bowels when discharged; Can stimulate lustful gratifications when eaten cooked.
When eaten raw they can create aggravation, agitations, anxieties and aggressiveness and cause emotional outbursts and anger.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The petroleum fly
Great.....what's next?
Many of the newest solar panels are manufactured with a gas that is 17,000 times more potent than carbon dioxide in contributing to global warming.
Monday, December 8, 2008
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