failed pick up lines from twitter

I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U

If I could rearrange the letters in the alphabet, I'd put my penis in your vagina.... wait...

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

my penis died , can i burry it in your ass?

I'm not really this tall I'm sitting on my wallet!

Girl, if I wasn't on house arrest, I'd take you to Red Lobster (True Story)