Sunday, May 4, 2008

Shoulda fed more of them to the lions.

Here is a list of massacres from the Bible, in ascending order by the number of victims. The list includes only those with a single killer where the number of victims is specified.

  1. Elisha (with help from God) sent two bears to kill 42 children for making fun of his bald head. 2 Kings 2:22-23
  2. Abimelech killed 69 of his brothers on a stone. Judges 9:5, BT
  3. Doeg the Edomite killed 85 priests and all the men, women, children, infants, oxen, donkeys, and sheep with a sword. 1 Samuel 22:18-19, BT
  4. Elijah (and God) burned to death 102 men. 2 Kings 1:10-12
  5. David killed 200 Philistines to purchase his first wife with their foreskins. 1 Samuel 18:25-27, BT
  6. Abishai killed 300 men with a spear. 2 Samuel 23:18, 1 Chronicles 11:20, BT
  7. The chief of David's captains killed either 300 (1 Chronicles 11:11) or 800 (2 Samuel 23:8) men with a spear. (Sometimes it's hard to correctly count the number of dead bodies in a massacre.)
  8. Elijah killed 450 religious leaders in a prayer contest. 1 Kings 18:22-40
    (The total in this massacre may have been 850 if it included the priests of the groves.)
  9. Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad. Judges 3:31, BT
  10. Samson killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass. Judges 15: 14-15, BT

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