Joey is attending Princeton

"February 13, 2006

Mr. William Fitzsimmons
Dean of Admissions
Harvard University
Cambridge, MA 02138

Dear Mr. Fitzsimmons,

With all due respect, sir, are you stupid?

I have to ask since, apparently, you were the person who denied the application to the Harvard Class of 2010 of one Joey Cheek. "

"Now, we understand speedskating, even gold-medal speedskating, does not get you into Harvard. Consider Dorofeyev, he didn't seem like Harvard material. So, fine, if he applies, deny him.

But Cheek? As impressive as he was on the ice, he was better in the post-race news conference, where he declined to do what every other Olympian does – talk about how great they are.

Instead, he announced he was donating all of his USOC award money ($25,000) to the Right to Play organization, which, according to righttoplay.com, is an "international humanitarian organization that uses sport and play as a tool for the development of children and youth in the most disadvantaged areas of the world."

"Yes, we know, getting into Harvard is very, very difficult. Lots of valedictorians don't get in. But really, couldn't you go with one less J. Cabot Peabody Winthrop IV? Couldn't you lose the application of one of those sorry C-plus legacies? Couldn't you just cut the quota from Exeter Academy by one?

Seriously, my older sister, Marjorie, actually graduated from Harvard and, sure, I love her and all, but the only thing she's ever done with a lot of ice is make a margarita. "